Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

I want to give thanks and sing praises to you.
Thanks, because u gave me very tough time in that 3 months holiday.
I cried in the night.
I scrolled down my contact lists.
One, two, three times.....
But I can't find any of them that I can press dial and talk whatever I want to talk...

I start to wonder and doubt.
I thought you love me Lord, but why? why u give me all these hard times...
Why you let your beloved child cried in the night and feel so helpless?

When the time I was so alone, none of my friends understand me, none of them know what am I thinking...I thought I have everything yet they will go empty one day by one day.
Who will stay by your side forever? Who will give you unfailing love? Who will promise they will love and care for you forever?

I went through the most negative thinking, I lived a life that was so messed up...
I started to do not recognize who I am, I started to lose myself...
What a fake smile, what a fragile heart?

Everything happens for a reason.
And now I knew.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know you are the one gives me unfailing love.
If I did not go through those times, how will I draw myself closer to you.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know who will be the one I should seek when I am in trouble.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know family is the one give you full support no matter who you are,
If I did not go through those times, how will I know how much effort I put in until I kind of lost myself.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know we should let go and move on.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know life is so fragile, world is so fragile and how will I learn to appreciate,
If I did not go through those times, how will I know that I should learn to love myself more.
If I did not go through those times, how will I know who are those can understand me and know what am I thinking.

If I did not go through those times, when...when will I grow up and be more mature?

If I did not cry in the dark, how will I know you are the light that dispel my darkness.
If I did not feel so helpless, how will I know that there are people who keep praying with me and for me? (Thanks guys, you know who you are ;) )
If I did not lost myself, how will I know how precious to be myself.

Dear Lord, thanks.!!! Thanks for giving me those angels who support me when I can no longer fly..!!
Thanks for your mercies and graces, so that I am here to shout to the people, You are my Lord!

Thanks. I give thanks and praises in Jesus most precious name, Amen!!

Life is fragile yet we have a solid rock to cling on. So, why you still fear?
His love is so precious, so why do you still be so sad if you lost something that is precious to you, what can be more precious than his love?

I know this is a long journey to step by step find myself back.
But, I am not alone in this path.
There's always rainbow after rain.
If you do not face the storm, how will you know how beautiful is the rainbow. =)

Thanks for telling me who am I.